three hundred and twenty-nine

That was the longest "tomorrow" ever. I had intended to share my recipe for green beans last Wednesday, followed by my Thanksgiving pictures and this week's menu plan* on Friday, but the holidays got in my way. I managed to overwork my side effect addled self to the point that I almost ended up being hospitalized for IV fluids.

As a last "please don't make me pay the ER copay" resort, after three days of tons of vomiting and little to no eating and drinking, I buckled down and followed some weird Oregon Trail-esque rehydration treatment (no, I am not kidding) that involved teaspoonfuls of room temperature water every 15 minutes. I kept 72+ ounces down last night, and I'm halfway through my third-24 ounce tumbler of water today as I speak, so I think it's safe to say I have dodged yet another medical bullet.

So, without further ado, here's a recipe I never want to see again. I'm not sure if I can recommend anyone make it, as it only ever seems to cause frustration for me whenever I try to share the recipe. If you're one of those daredevils who likes living on the edge, click through for the recipe. Caveat coquus!

*Speaking of menu plans... I have a big old cache of them built up. Do any of you want to see what I ate a few weeks ago? I'm thinking not, because there's only so many menus one can read without going mad.

one hundred and thirty-two point five

No Bake Whipped Cheesecake

It looks better sliced.

Crust :

1 1/2 cups gingersnaps

1/3 cup brown sugar

1/3 cup butter, melted

Filling :

2-8 oz. packages cream cheese, softened (Philadelphia recommended)

2/3 cup white sugar

zest from one large orange

~1/2 cup freshly squeezed orange juice (from one large orange)

2 cups whipping cream

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Preheat the oven to 350*.

Line an 8x8 pan with parchment paper, allowing it to extend above the sides of the pan to create a "collar" (like for a souffle).

Pulverize the ginger snaps in a food processor.  Add brown sugar and pulse until all the lumps are gone.  Combine with the butter and press into the prepared pan.

Bake crust 12-15 minutes or until the edges have darkened slightly and the crust is no longer wet to the touch.  It may be bubbly from the butter when you remove it from the oven, but it will cool to a crunchy solid crust.  Cool completely before using.

Add cream cheese to the bowl of a stand mixer (or into a large bowl if you're using a hand mixer).  Using the whisk attachment, whip the cream cheese until creamy, about 1 minute; scrape down the sides of the bowl. 

Add the sugar, orange zest, and orange juice and whip an additional 2 minutes, or until fluffy and well combined; scrape down the sides.  At a low speed, mix the whipping cream and vanilla extract into the cream cheese mixture.  

Gradually increase the speed to high, then beat until the filling is light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.  Do not over-mix.  

Scrape down the sides of the bowl, then spread into the cooled gingersnap crust.  Smooth or decorate the top, then cover and refrigerate until ready to serve.  

Best topped with orange-cranberry sauce.

one hundred and thirty-one point five

Orange-Cranberry Sauce

Even people who swear they don't like cranberries love this sauce!  It's delicious as a side dish for turkey or as a dessert topping for, say, no-bake cheesecake.  It can be made several days ahead, and the flavor only gets better as it sits.  Can be served hot or cold, which makes it the perfect alternative to the canned stuff. 

2-12 oz. packages fresh cranberries, mushy berries and/or stems discarded

1 tbsp orange zest, finely grated

1/2 cup freshly squeezed orange juice

2/3 cup water

1/3 cup honey (I used cranberry blossom)

1 cinnamon stick, whole

a few grates of nutmeg, to taste

up to 1/4 cup of white sugar, to taste

In a medium pot over medium-low heat, combine the cranberries, orange zest, orange juice, water, honey, cinnamon, and nutmeg.  Cover and simmer, stirring occasionally, for 20-30 minutes or until the berries have popped and the sauce has started to set.  

Remove from heat and allow to cool a bit, then check sweetness.  Fish out the cinnamon stick.  

Stir in up to 1/4 cup of the white sugar little by little until the sauce is sweetened to your liking.

Store in refrigerator until ready to use.  Reheat slightly covered in the microwave for about 2 minutes or on the stove top on low for about 10 minutes.

one hundred and thirty

Thanksgiving is four days away...  Are you ready?  I've shopped for the food, bought some new containers for leftovers, replaced my aging baking pans, finalized the menu changes, and, as of noon today, started my cooking by roasting some turkey necks for stock.  Since there are only two of us--and since I have years more Thanksgiving experience than most twenty-somethings--I am fairly confident that I have everything under control.  Cue unforeseeable holiday-ruining occurrence. Despite my cockiness, I still have a ton of work to do in order to pull off the feast which I'll break down by day, just in case anyone's in need of some inspiration (or a reminder or two).

Monday : triple check grocery list and cabinet contents; wash aprons, kitchen rags, napkins, etc.; roast turkey necks for stock; prepare turkey stock; share recipe for dressing.

Tuesday : make cranberry sauce; roast garlic for mashed potatoes; clean out refrigerator; clean oven; wash roasting pans and/or dust-covered special Thanksgiving serving dish; slice French bread for crostini, then freeze.

Wednesday : make dough for rolls, then shape in muffin tin, complete final rise overnight in the refrigerator; prepare dressing; make brine (double batch for a whole turkey), then brine turkey overnight; make cheesecake; make dip for appetizers.

Thursday : slice veggies for appetizers; bake mini-quiches and frozen crostini for appetizers; roast turkey, then make gravy; make mashed potatoes; make green beans; bake dressing and rolls; nom.

Andouille and Sage Dressing

This recipe is based on one that my mother discovered in Bon Appetit in the '90s.  It can be made with any sort of boxed stuffing mix (or with your own bread, dried, crumbled and seasoned--but who wants to do that kind of work?) but cornbread is the default.  Disclosure: I'm using the "chicken" flavored Stove Top that I got in bulk at a wholesale club.  No matter what, make sure that you use good, homemade stock rather than store bought.  Also, use the given amount of broth as an idea, rather than a rule; nothing's worse than dry dressing... except for soggy dressing.

4 tbsp butter

16 oz. Andouille sausage, sliced into coins

16 oz. pork and sage bulk sausage

2 cups onions, diced

2 cups celery, diced

1 tsp thyme, crumbled

14 - 16 oz. stuffing mix

1 1/2 - 2 cups turkey stock

In a large pan over medium-high heat cook the bulk sausage about 5 minutes, or until browned; drain and remove to paper towel-lined plate.  Add the sliced Andouille to the same pot, cooking an additional 5 minutes, or until browned on both sides; remove to paper-towel lined plate.  

Add butter to the pot.  Once butter has melted, add onions, celery, and thyme; cook until softened, about 5 minutes.  

In a very large bowl, use your hands to thoroughly mix both of the sausages, the softened onions and celery, and the boxed stuffing.  Add one cup of the turkey stock and stir.  Little by little, add the rest of the stock until the dressing is moistened.  Refrigerate until an hour and a half before you're ready to bake and serve.

Preheat the oven to 350.  Spoon the dressing into a large buttered glass or ceramic baking dish.  Cover with a buttered piece of foil, then bake for 30 minutes.  Remove the foil, stir the dressing, then return to the oven to bake uncovered for an additional 30 minutes or until browned.

one hundred and twenty-five

Dear Internet,

I couldn't think of a blog post today because PSE&G keeps messing with my head with its random outages.  Since I'm not a total bum, I figured a recipe might be a good compromise.  Just for good measure, I'll even make it seasonal and Thanksgiving-y.  So, here's my recipe for beer brined bone-in turkey breast, complete with a punny title.

Love,
Michele

Baysted Bone-In Turkey Breast with Pan Gravy

Start with:

6-8 lb. bone-in turkey breast, thawed if frozen

Brine overnight in:

1/4 cup kosher salt

1/4 cup packed brown sugar

1/4 cup apple cider vinegar

1-12 oz. bottle ale (I used Magic Hat HIPA)

water to cover

When you're ready to roast, remove the turkey from the brine and rinse thoroughly inside and out.  Pat dry.

Place the turkey breast side down on a large cutting board.  Using kitchen shears, cut along either side of the spine (your shears will cut through the ribs) until you encounter resistance.  Place one palm flat on the very top of the spine.  Using your free hand, grab the wing (or what's left of it, if your breast came wingless) and bend it towards the spine.  You know, like you're trying to break its shoulder, because that's precisely what you're attempting to do. 

Repeat the process on the other shoulder, then use your shears to finish removing the spine by cutting through the space between the shoulder and arm.  Don't throw away the spine or any scraps (except for the white tube-looking spinal cord because yuck).

Allow the turkey to rest at room temperature while you make...

Lazy Turkey Stock:

32 oz. homemade or store bought chicken stock

scraps from turkey

Combine stock and scraps in a medium pot.  Simmer covered over medium heat for 45 minutes, or until it smells sufficiently turkey-y.  

Meanwhile, start on...

Bay Butter:

8 Turkish bay leaves

12 tbsp salted butter

In a small saucepan, melt the butter.  Stir in the bay leaves, then infuse over low heat for about 30 minutes, or until fragrant.  Fish out the bay leaves and set them aside.

While the butter is infusing, gather...

The Rest of the Stuff:

1 onion, cut into eighths

2 ribs celery, cut into thirds

2 tsp garlic powder

1/2 tsp paprika

salt and pepper

Preheat the oven to 375.

Once the butter and broth are done, place the turkey breast-up on a roasting pan.  Slide your hand under the skin to disconnect it from the meat.  Slightly lift the breast off of the pan and slide the onion, celery, and bay leaves (from the Bay Butter) into the hollow space under the rib cage.  Gently rest the turkey on top of the veggies, making sure nothing's poking out.

Coat the turkey with the bay butter, then sprinkle with garlic powder, salt, pepper, and paprika.  Place the turkey in the preheated oven and roast at 375 for 30 minutes.

Carefully pour two cups of the broth into the bottom of the roasting pan.  Baste the turkey with the juices and broth from the bottom of the pan.  Reduce the heat to 325 and roast an additional 1 1/2 hours, basting again at the one hour mark, and one last time at the one hour-thirty minute mark.  If the pan begins to dry out or the drippings begin to burn, add extra broth one cup at a time.

Remove from the oven once the temperature in the thickest part of the breast measures 165.  Allow to rest on the counter 20 minutes before carving.  Meanwhile, remove the veggies and bay leaves from the roasting pan and start on...

Pan Gravy:

pan drippings from roasted turkey (above)

2 tbsp flour

2 tbsp butter

1 cup turkey broth

chicken stock, as needed

salt and pepper, to taste

In a small pot, melt the butter.  Whisk in the flour to create a roux, cooking for about one minute or until it smells nutty.

Whisk in the pan drippings and turkey broth, adding chicken stock 1/4 cup at a time until the gravy reaches your desired consistency.  Check seasoning, then...

Eat: